Will you choose me?
by TheDeepestEmeraldGreen
Summary: N's thoughts on Touya. Rated T just to be safe! Isshushipping; NXTouya; NxBlack, TWO-SHOT
1. Chapter 1

Will you choose me?

A Pokemon Fanfiction

A/N- I'm back in business! It's been so long since I've written something... but this idea's been in my head for a while. School has been a bitch, let me tell you that. I've just been so busy lately, I haven't been able to update anything or write at all. Let me get back into the swing of things with this, and will update my other story, 'kay? :D

This is rated because there is a teeny bit of some sexual themes in this, but it is NOT a lemon. Sorry, but I doubt I'll ever be able to write a lemon until I'm older. D:

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, N, Touya, or anything.

~000~

Touya, why did you fall for me?

There are so many qualities I own, so many that should keep people away from me. My personality on the outside is nothing like my inner me.

I am selfish. I will never share anything with anyone.

I am possessive. When I claim something, it is _mine_. _Nobody_ else can ever lay claim to the thing I already set my eyes on. You were always that thing for me, ever since I met you. You became my new obsession, like I needed to battle you so I could live. So I could breathe.

Hell, why did I fall for you?You were only an object for me to own. You were my living essence, and without you I would die.

It's different now. You are no longer a collectors item for me. You are my one and only Touya.

You are my opposite. You're kind, selfless, and you share _everything_ with others. You act as if your pain and problems shouldn't be kept in.

I would never _dare_ think that. Nobody would worry about my problems. You heard what Ghetsis said. I was only a tool for him to use. I am still only a warped defective boy that knows nothing but Pokemon. He only made me like that so I could let him rule this planet.

But he doesn't know I still have feelings. Feelings for Pokemon. Feelings for you.

I try to remember things about you. Many things appear in my thoughts, but only certain things about you are extremely special to me. Like...

Your strength. It was so hard to battle you without losing. I don't think I ever won once when I was against you. Not even with Reshiram on my side.

I remember your eyes. They were the color of cocoa. They always gleamed when you were about to win a battle. They were always so bright and filled with determination when I would challenge you, and you have a glare that can kill, did you know?

I remember your smile. Even though you didn't genuinely smile too often, those small little peeks of a real smile that I'd see- I don't know how to describe it. The corners of your lips tugged up for only a second, sometimes you'd even laugh. It was never long enough though for me. When your smile would drop, it would always be too soon.

I remember that one day when we were in Mistralton City. In front of the Pokemon Gym. About what we were talking about, I don't remember, but I _do_ remember how close I got to you that one day. Closer that the day we were in the Ferris Wheel. You're eyes were so huge, curiosity filling them to the brim. Your lips were like little pink seashells.

Oh sweet Arceus, how much did I want you? How much did I want to sweep you up into a kiss and run off with you without knowing that everyone would judge me? How much did I want to run my hands through your hair and just drink in your scent while you laid with me under the stars? How badly did I want to trail kisses down your jaw and nip at your pulse just to feel you shudder underneath me?

There was only one problem with my fantasies, one sure factor that would ensure they would never happen. That problem was Team Plasma.

How could I face my father or Team Plasma if they had figured out I fell in love with the enemy? I wouldn't. I couldn't.

They'd never understand concepts like "Love". They'd only believe that I was joking, and if they thought I was serious, then they would think something is wrong with me. They would do anything in their power to try to show me how I was wrong. I would never be able to deal with that.

That's why I only wanted to battle you. I wouldn't care if you would win, whether we were in the rain or the hail. As long as I got to battle you, I wouldn't care at all. You would always give your signature smirk, and I would have to turn away and flee as fast as I could, because I couldn't stand to be around you for very long after a battle. Something about the atmosphere would change, and my heart would hammer in my chest so rapidly I thought I would pass out.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced that feeling before. I wonder if that's what the emotion of Love does to people. It affects you so harshly that you can only stand to be with that person at a distance. You can fill your dreams with love and lust but as soon as you step forward toward that person, Love shoots you in the heart, you double over in pain, and you have to run.

That's what happened to me, at least. I was never able to be with you for long. I would always have to run, hide, and continue to dream. Continue to dream of my lips brushing against yours as skin brushed against skin- it would be perfect.

Unfortunately, I would never be able to actually do that with you. Never be that intimate with you unless you would really want to be. But I've been gone for five years. Didn't you forget about me yet? If you even do remember me, do you still love me?

Of course you don't. You have Cheren and Bianca to be with. They didn't leave you to go on journeys of their own, to see if they could live without that certain someone.

I was wrong, Touya. I've battled other trainers. Their names I forget, and I will probably never remember those titles. Whenever I've battled them, the battles were empty, not enough to fill the hole that I left behind in the Unova. They were never as thrilling as the battles I would have with you. Never.

I've been to countless other Regions in this world of Pokemon, and I've battled thousands of trainers. None of them are like you, and none will _ever _be like you.

I have battled trainers with qualities like you though. They share the same kind of bond like you have with your Pokemon. Their names are easier to remember than others. But they're not _you._

I- I love you Touya. I've loved you since I first saw you.

Will you take me back?

Whatever decision you choose, my feelings for you won't change, but I'll let you go.

I just have one request.

_Can you choose me?_


	2. Chapter 2

Will You Choose Me?- Chapter Two

A Pokemon Fanfiction

A/N- Officially, this story was only supposed to be a oneshot, but by popular demand, there was a want for Touya's reaction. That actually made me think. How the hell was I gonna do that? So let's suppose that N's thoughts- the last chapter- were in a letter, okay? (Touya didn't read it yet though.) That's the only way I thought I could get Touya's feelings across too without making this chapter two paragraphs long. XDDD

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Rated for Touya's mouth. *shakes head disapprovingly*

~000~

I opened my eyes, hearing Cheren's cool voice in my ear.

"Touya, Bianca ran off without us..."

I groaned. I knew she was excited- she was practically bursting with it when we stopped to rest- but she could have at least waited for Cheren and I to wake up from our nap!

"Let's just go home. Bianca's a big girl now, isn't she? The rumors probably aren't true anyway..." I trailed off, yawning. Cheren narrowed his eyes before putting his glasses on and continuing to talk.

"Should we? This is Bianca we're talking about. _Clumsy_ Bianca. _Messy_ Bianca. The same Bianca that won't pay attention to her surroundings if she's set her mind on somthi-"

"Alright, alright! We'll go after her!" I interrupted harshly, sitting up abruptly. Cheren sighed next to me.

"I forgot. You can be snappy when your tired," he said, smirking.

"Am not!" I retorted, standing up. "Let's just find Bianca so we can go home!"

Cheren shrugged, but got to his feet without saying anything else. As I gathered my things that were scattered all around the camp- all Bianca's fault probably, I heard Cheren's sharp intake of breath behind me. My thoughts flashing to Team Plasma, I whipped my head around and my hand flew to my bag to grab a pokeball.

"What's wrong, Cheren?" I asked quickly, my heart flying. Half of me expected green hair and a white dragon, and the other half expected grunts to jump out of the shadows, but...

Nothing was there.

My spirits dropped, and my throat tightened. "Cheren?" I managed to ask.

He cleared his throat. "Nothing. A Pokemon startled me, that's all."

I didn't push the issue any further, and continued to pick up my things in silence.

"What?" Cheren asked. I didn't answer. After a pause, I heard Cheren chuckle behind me. "I know who you were looking for."

"What? Who?" I asked quickly, standing as I put the last item in my bag. Cheren laughed.

"You know who, Touya."

I chewed my lip nervously. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Anyway, it doesn't matter now."

_He's never coming back, anyway. _I added silently.

"Now?"

"..."

Cheren sighed, but didn't bring the issue up again. I thanked him silently.

I dug through my bag, trying to see what Bianca took, and trying to forget. Forget that he left, forget that he said he'd never come back...

Dammit. The more I tried to forget, the more I remembered. My hands were shaking. I took a deep breath, noticing my throat still hurt. I stopped moving and closed my eyes, blocking all of my thoughts out and started mindlessly rooting through my bag.

Finally, I couldn't remember why I had gotten worked up. I opened my eyes and noticed that Bianca took an ultra ball. I sighed.

"Cheren? She took an ultra ball and went after it," I said, exasperated.

Cheren shrugged. "Well we might as well start look-"

"Cheren! Touya!" a voice called.

Bianca broke through a line of trees, and ran into Cheren, knocking him over.

"Oops! Sorry, Cheren!" she squeaked, helping him up. Cheren now wore an irritated expression, brushing dirt off of his jacket as he got to his feet.

"Why didn't you wait for us?" he scolded, crossing his arms. "We should have looked for Virizion together. Do you remember what forest we're in right now?"

I'm pretty sure Bianca was starting to regret leaving without us. "Well, we're in Pinwheel Forest, Cheren, but-"

"And do you remember how easy it is to get lost in this forest?"

"Yes, but-"

"Bianca, Touya and I almost had a heart attack when you were gone. You should have waited for us to wake up before you went off on your own." Cheren sighed.

Bianca looked over, giving me her best "_please-make-him-stop_" look. I returned the gaze with my own "_you-brought-this-upon-yourself-so-no-I-won't_" look. She pouted.

"Sorry, Cheren. Sorry, Touya," she said, her eyes to the ground. Suddenly they flew back to Cheren. "But you'll never guess who and what I saw."

She had lowered her voice and stepped closer to Cheren. I narrowed my eyes.

"What? Who was it, Bianca?" I asked, telling her I was still here. She squeaked, her face reddening.

"I-I'm n-not sure you want to know, T-Touya," she stammered. My anger flared.

"_What?"_ I asked sharply. She flinched. "Who did you see?" I asked, my stomach doing flips.

"But-"

"Bianca!"

"Fine!" She exclaimed. Suddenly she shrank back beside Cheren before she spoke. "I-I saw that Team Plasma boy... his name was L or N, wasn't it? And Reshiram! I saw that too!"

My heart froze, my body unresponsive. My veins ran cold, and my blood turned to ice.

He was here? In the Unova region? Since when? For how long? Did he still remember me?

Suddenly my urge to know everything exploded out from me. I darted over to Bianca, and throwing my hands on her shoulders, I only demanded one thing.

"Where? Where did you see him?" I asked. Hell, I was begging, pleading to know where he was. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him.

No, that was a lie. I remembered the last time I saw him. It was after I had beaten Ghetsis. He had left riding Reshiram. The last words he said to me were words of farewell... I just had no recollection of how long ago that was.

"Touya! Calm down, I only saw him for a couple seconds! I don't even know if it was him or not..." Bianca trailed off. I let her go, but I didn't give up yet. I turned around so my back was facing her.

"Which direction did you see him, Bianca?" I asked steadily.

"Um, that way, I guess..." she said thoughtfully. I looked over my shoulder to see what direction she was pointing before Cheren grabbed my wrist.

"Hell no. You're not going after him. First off, this isn't exactly the best forest to be running around looking for someone. Second: what if it wasn't even him? Ghetsis is still running loose, and we have no idea where he is. He might still be out for revenge, Touya," he said worriedly.

My stomach stopped doing flips. Instead it was sitting in the bottom of my stomach, tightening so harshly that I felt if I spoke, it would jump up and I would vomit.

I looked down, away from Cheren, formulating my escape. I _needed_ to see him. _Now._

"Touya?" Bianca asked, reaching for my shoulder.

"Alright, I won't go," I lied, readying myself to run.

Cheren sighed in relief, and let go of my wrist. I kept my cool, noticing I had left a potion lying on the ground over near a line of trees.

I walked smoothly over to it and bent down to pick it up. When I was sure they had both turned around, I bolted.

I heard Cheren yell behind me, and I know he had started running too.

I flew over a branch, running over the dirt and leaves of Pinwheel Forest as I tried to escape Cheren. I ran until I spotted a hollow log. I jumped and rolled to my right and hid myself inside until I heard Cheren speed past, muttering obscenities and calling my name.

I waited a moment, and before long I heard Bianca run past, shouting for Cheren to slow down. I waited an extra moment longer until I jumped out of the long and started my run to the direction Bianca had said N was in.

It wasn't before long until I came along a path that looked like a large Pokemon had walked through. My stomach jumped in delight and I felt a grin widen on my face. There was no doubt in my mind that the Pokemon that had lumbered it's way through here wasn't the white dragon Reshiram.

I quickened my pace, almost sprinting until I came to a small opening. A dead end.

My smiled fell and my spirits dimmed. I dropped to my knees, looking at the ground in disbelief.

It... it wasn't possible! He was here almost two minutes ago!

I felt a sound scraping at my ribs, crawling up my throat, and breathing fire in my mouth. So I let it have it's way. I yelled.

"Dammit, N! I know you were here, you coward! Are you too afraid to face me again?" I screeched. "Do you really think you can just come back after all these years and expect me to stand around, acting like you're not here?" When all I heard was my voice echoing off the trees, I scowled.

"Where the hell are you! Do you even hear me, you bastard!" I shouted, continuing my screaming for a few minutes until my lungs were sore.

"You... you Plasma jerk... Why... why did you leave?" I panted, doubled over from loss of breath. "You... you think you can break my heart by leaving... and just come back without... telling me you were? I don't think so..."

"Touya?" a female voice asked behind me.

I spun around, storming past Bianca and Cheren and back down the small path. I heard them following me down the path as well, Cheren lecturing me on the way.

"... shouldn't have run off, idiot. You never think things through," he was saying. I scowled, trying to block out my friend's voice unsuccessfully.

I sighed, pulling off my hat and running my hand through my hair before replacing it. "You're right, Cheren," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry. I got over excited."

Cheren echoed my sigh before coming to my side.

"We know you miss him," he said softly, surprising me how gentle his voice sounded. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I don't miss that jerk," I muttered coolly, pulling the brim of my hat low against my face. Cheren groaned.

"You are _so _stubborn," he said, crossing his arms.

"I know I am."

Suddenly the roar of a large Pokemon ripped through the air. Cheren and I whipped our heads up to greet the sky, seeing a large white dragon zip through.

My throat went dry.

A small, white envelope fluttered to the ground in front of me.

"What the hell?" Cheren breathed, disbelief filling his tone.

Bianca bent down and picked it up, her eyes widening. "It's for you, Touya," she murmured. She held it out to me in an offering fashion.

I couldn't move. I was frozen.

"Touya?" asked someone. I still don't know who it was.

I blacked out shortly afterward.

~000~

"_Touya, sweetie? Are you alright?"_

I groaned, my eyes fluttering open. Mom looked down at me, relief flooding her features.

"Mom?" I asked hoarsely.

"Oh, goodness, don't scare me like that!" she said, putting her hand to her chest.

I sat up, my surroundings forming into my room. "What happened?" I asked, rubbing my head and discovering my hat was missing. "Where's my stuff?"

"Cheren said you guys were in Pinwheel forest and you suddenly collapsed. Bianca and Cheren almost had heart attacks. They brought you back home, because you seemed sick," she said, not bothering to tell me where my stuff disappeared to.

"The whole way home from Pinwheel forest?" I asked, remembering the letter that floated out of the sky. My stomach flipped over on itself and I cleared my throat.

Mom nodded. Her expression turned to worry, and she felt my forehead.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked. I nodded and got out of bed, standing up beside her.

She blew her bangs out of her eyes, wrapping her arms around me.

When she pulled away, she pointed to the corner of the room where my bag was. It looked like it had been thrown there messily, but my hat was on the desk next to my bag. My light blue coat was lying at the end of the bed, folded neatly.

I smiled, kissing my mother's cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

I grabbed my coat and threw it on quickly when my mom went downstairs. I grabbed my hat and my bag and slid down the railing of my stairs, hopping off when I reached the bottom. As usual, Mom was sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee as she glanced at the television every so often.

I went over to her and hugged her from behind quickly before saying a quick goodbye and heading out the door.

I glanced at the mailbox, noticing the flag was up. My stomach jumped again, but I made my way over to it and opened the lid, grabbing the letters from inside.

With shaking hands, I flipped through the envelopes until I came across the peculiar white one that had nothing but my name hastily scrawled across it.

I threw the other mail into the mailbox and shut the door. I headed over to a desolate corner in my small hometown, taking a seat in the grass before holding the envelope carefully.

After a moment of deliberation, I flipped the letter over and slid my finger under the slightly open flap of the envelope, ripping in open. Feeling a slice of pain, I jerked my hand back, seeing I got a paper cut. I put the bleeding finger in my mouth for a moment before continuing to open the letter until I had the sheets of paper in my hands.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath before beginning to read.

_Touya, why did you fall for me?..._

I snorted. It was like him to open up like that.

Every word I read, my heart beat faster. My cheeks flushed as he talked of his dreams. I felt tears speed down my cheeks as he told me about his travels, so I wiped them away hastily. I kept reading and reading and _reading _until I came to the last sentence.

_Will you choose me?_

I stared at the question, bewildered for a moment. Until I smiled. Pressing the papers to my chest, trying to absorb his every last thought, I chuckled softly.

"You idiot," I whispered as a few more rouge tears trekked down my face, past my smile. "Of course I will."

~000~

RAWR. THIS IS EIGHT PAGES LONG.

I hoped you enjoyed this!

Please review to tell me how I did! (I.E- If it sounded rushed, if I spelled anything wrong, or if I didn't use correct grammar... I want to improve my writing skills!)

Thank you!


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